ORGASM.

T: There's something always exciting about spending time with a particular car model in the garage.T is one of the most experienced car mechanics I've come across and worked with; it’s always easier working with him. He has it at his fingertips, experience. You can expect it from the first engagement with him matters automotive. 

Not the usual greasy old dark torn overall, black nails and hands from oil, or a waist bag with some ancient tools like an impact wrench and auto-stethoscope. Surely who needs all that on a plastic bumper? Of course, the silver hair and mature confidence in how he understands the situation and approach. Technically he's plopping his mouth where the mind is!

T: When you spend enough time with an indigo Toyota Corolla, trust me, for the next 1 or 2 weeks, all you'll be seeing is an indigo Toyota corolla. I'm not fond of colours, so I’ll stick with just the model, but he's right, not experience right but essential reality. If you concentrate on indigo, you'll end up glimpsing indigo all over, practically. In modest terms, everyone appears as Buddha in the mind of a Buddha and a pig in the mind of a pig. You are what you feed your mind.

Anyways, away from matters T and indigo cars, have you ever seen one?

 So one of those low seasons in the garage, no clients checking in, that's professionally asserted if you ask me, but then my profession deal with wrecked cars from accidents, knocked engine, immovable door hinges and windows, overheating radiators, malfunctioning cooling system. They all sound like misery, and you don't walk around wishing for such, like an evening or early morning prayer to the winds, "yes, it's me again, asking for an accident or break down, of course, no harm to the human,” that's absurd though. Much disadvantage to the pockets of humans. But trust such prayers are always answered in our high season. I bet you are wondering what goes on during our high seasons, like more accidents or an outbreak of a car virus, and they are all breaking down. Nah, just busy humans celebration, weddings, holidays, rallies, and also drunk driving.

We are all rested, having some cracks, one or two, you know, the ordinary boys roasting but also in this circle, the best of life lessons are given if you are keen enough. Today one of the boys is having an issue back at home, he's trying to shake a tree, but nothing is coming down. His marriage heaven is in chaos, again. He needs a man-man way out, so I'll lend an ear as the wise speaks. I know nothing, of course, still in respect and admiration to ugali-mayai day in and day out, then later hold on tight to a pillow, bachelor.

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be in love or marriage, but very sure to me such is more of a selfish endeavour, not the kind of " no, you can't have my towel or my buggy t-shirt or take a piece of my nyamchom at our favourite joint," nope. I've always felt romances work best when each focuses on their strength, downs, and happiness and then combines to make it work. But all this is always on the second floor. The basics include understanding that men and women have different approaches to daily events and the idea of communication being the key is unsolved. Women seek intimacy during communication; men, on the other hand, seek information, so it all starts with understanding, such as at the lobby. Men see any form of interaction as a challenge for power, whereas women see it in matters of dependency or independence. When speaking to goats, you ensure it's in goats' lingo. From an observation of their struggles, alleged "couples,” everything is based on love. I’m with them so and so because I love them. Love is beautiful, of course, but it's also stupid to base critical aspects of life or relation on just a mere sensation of the brain from spiked hormones. 

Growing up in a strongly religious anchored in the blood and flesh of the son of the carpenter but struggling with what belonged to Caesar, you get to know that there is much more to relations that living by rules or rather collective beliefs and commands supported by hope and a till death do us part. It takes more, to understand small elements that make or break a person.

Before we dive into bed, on the kitchen sink, or pinning to the wall for our honeymoon (with intentions of left-handed twins), we will have some exchange of vows, just simple but meaningful ones. Of course, we will start with a dance floor session to see what the waist can do, a double test that is; Are you into soft rumba, do you promise to turn to TP Ok jazz when things get formidable, do you promise volume up Musa Juma when things are working smoothly, do you vow for speakers and earphones to always be in a music mood, biking and nature hike. Then I shall take you, my bride. Feel free to show me what the waist can do with Fabrice in the background. If I'm in an arrangement, it should be because of who I am when in love, energetic, funny, creative, striving for the best, understanding, and more human. But I'm all these alone, with some rumba or on my bike. So basically, being with someone shouldn't change anything but allow me to be who I am at my best. She should be an addition to my playlist, not a whole switch of the genre. It's comprehending what makes a person, what’s their crazy, and then teaming up for the best; it’s an alliance that works best when each team member brings out their A game.

When comfortable with yourself, you are more likeable and easy approachable find joy in life and look for humour.

Selfish approach to relationships.

Basics...

1. Courtship.

There's a famous saying, credits to farmers (it deals with rodents, so I figured they must have coined it); 

Direct translation: There are many methods for killing a mouse.

In this case, the mouse is a prospective partner (sexual), and “killing" means secure.

There are many approaches to bedding or winning someone, the former being of focus. With this, I have questions.

(a). Does integrity play a role?

(b). what do you expect in return?

Take: be true to yourself, go straight to the point. Be selfish and hold your integrity. It never hurt when you were real. Indigo, the whole day at the end of the day never swerves pink! Too many choices make people confused.

2. Sex.

Traditionally men seek dominance in everything; there are no 2min women, maybe, never heard of. And women play the subordinate role, "take me, baby, kill me, and choke me.” One's in a while too, but primarily joint issues; oh, that's where their 2min comes in, I suppose.

Sex biologically takes two or so for stimulation, then ins and outs. Maybe get yourself in the mood for sex; you can see it coming. Want to have sex? Bring 50% to the table, and let the man work for the remaining 50. Surely you don't expect an ordinary man, born of a woman, to take yours from 0-100%, all day, any day. Give something, and onto you, more will be added.

3. Responsibilities.

Under no circumstances, and by this, I mean no matter what a woman earns, shell never let the man play the "female" subordinate role. So man, hold your ground and be true to yourself. The best share is one manages financial matters, the other matters home and connection: face and a brain.

Tough times, a single income stream is long forgotten; if you can manage to work both, fantastic. Use the above. But women also will only work when there's no one to provide or the provider isn't hitting enough. The question of whether you are willing to let your woman work should maybe be replaced by; do you think you are providing enough?

I must say, it's hard to get it right. So maybe we just let integrity play.

Man, relationships are tough.

You know what? Nah, I am tired. Let me learn more; I promise this is the last election without a mother-in-law.

I'll let you know more after I marry, to be continued......